I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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