just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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