There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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