Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
