you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
