also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
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