I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
