And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Randomize
