Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Dick very happy bro
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
