I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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