Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
