Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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