im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
