What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize