remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
