Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
two words: eviction party
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
It's never too late to be topless.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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