the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
