Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
