bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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