im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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