Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Randomize
