you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
