the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Randomize
