Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
