Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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