I only kidnapped one of them. chill
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
