in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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