Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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