ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
