apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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