can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
