why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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