omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
