# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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