Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Can you bring me the toilet please
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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