That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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