just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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