Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize