I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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