Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
