I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
