dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
