They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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