Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
its liver damage thursday
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