No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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