wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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