I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
