and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
