..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
