I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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