The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
