what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
