Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
