when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
