Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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