That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
